No parking

Chris: [mumble mubmle] document!
Me: What document?
C: Me!
M: You're a document?
C: Yes.
M: You're not a person?
C: Well, that's what you have to decide. Am I a person or a document?
M: A person.
C: I'm not a printing document? Of the [mumble mumble]?
M: Do you have an on/off switch?
C: No.
M: So what happens when I push this? [taps his forehead]
C: You don't wanna know!
M: I did it already! What will happen?
C: Nevada will park on New Jersey tomorrow.
M: [laughs]

Doctor

Chris: Doctor, I'm kind of concerned you left all the greens on your plate.
Me: Greens?
C: Yeah, all the broccolis.
M: Who are you calling doctor?
C: [with attitude] Who you callin' doctor?

Little rats

Chris: [looks very confused] What is that? [points at end of bed] (Sound familiar?)
Me: My hoodie.
C: Oh, ok.
M: What did you think it was?
C: A little rat.
M: A rat? Why would there be a rat in the bed?
C: I was waiting for you to tell me.
M: Where would it have come from?
C: I don't know.

Pianning

Chris: The man with the piano...watch out...[mumble]...nuking.
Me: What about the man?
C: He has a piano.
M: What is he doing with it?
C: ...Pianning.
M: [laughs] Pianning?
C: Yeah. That's what you do with a piano.
M: Ok. And what did you say about nuking?
C: Nuking.
M: Yeah, who's nuking?
C: I don't know.

I think someone's been playing too much Fallout 3 lately.