My Hubby's Midnight Ramblings

Cousen people

2010-04-04T20:58:00.003-04:00

Chris: [mumble mumble] download cusen person.
Me: Download what?
C: Mass cusen person.
M: What's that?
C: It's uh, see, multiple cusen persons.
M: What's a cusen person?
C: You know, like a cuse.
M: A what?
C: A cuse.
M: What's a cuse?
C: ...
M: Like couscous?
C: Yeah.
M: So, you eat these people?
C: Yeah.
M: Why would you do that? Do they taste good?
C: No.
M: Oh, well, I guess we shouldn't eat them then.
C: No.
M: So, who are they?
C: They're from uh...
M: From where?
C: [uncertain mumble, not really with me anymore]
M: You don't know?
C: No...
M: Ok, then. Anything else you'd like to tell me?
C: [silent]

Wife Contract

2010-03-03T14:42:00.002-05:00

I strung this one on pretty far!

Chris: You have to contact up.
Me: Contact who?
C: Contact up. They need to know you're here.
M: What do they need to know? I live here!
C: That's true. It's not like a contract or anything.
M: I should hope not. Are you contracting me out to be your wife?
C: Hmm..I think that can be arranged.
M: [laughs] Who would I be reporting to?
C: Who do you want to report to?
M: I don't know. You're the one telling me I have to contact up.
C: That's true. Why don't you report to Behfeh (like last time, Behfeh is the cat)
M: [laughs] Ok...
C: And I guess Behfeh has a dotted line to the CEO of Whirlpool.
M: [laughs] Ok.
C: And then, uh...I don't know. I'll have to ask Behfeh where the rest of the organization is.
M: Ok. Is there anything else I need to do?
C: You mean as far as reporting is concerned?
M: Yeah.
C: No, I think that should cover all our bases.
M: Ok. Do I have to draw up a report?
C: [starting to sound very sleepy] Could you do that?
M: Ok, how long would you like it to be?
C: Nothing too fancy, just a page or two should do.
M: And what should it say?
C: Oh, just make it the standard report.
M: I don't know what the standard is. I'm new.
C: Oh. Um, I'll forward you an example.
M: [laughs] Ok. So, who wrote this example? Like, was it you or someone else?
C: I wrote it.
M: Oh, so I didn't have a predecessor?
C: No.
M: That's good to know. Well, alright. I'll get to work on that.
C: What?
M: I'll get to work on it.
C: Oh.

He speaks!!

2010-01-27T13:04:00.002-05:00

So it appears reading has helped a bit! The first few nights of reading didn't seem to be doing much for his night talking, but then one night he bit me a few times (lightly!...though that's still pretty weird. Ooh, or! Maybe I have my very own Edward!) and the next night, he talked:

Chris: [sits up, points fingers like a gun at nothing] Hey, Behfeh. [looks down at cat] (Behfeh is how he sometimes pronounces our cat Buffy's name)
M: What are you doing?
C: I wonder if there's a capacitance charge or not.
M: What? Capacitance?
C: If there's a charge.
M: Charge in what though? Is that a gun?
C: Well, we'll have to see. If there's no charge, no.
M: Who are you aiming at?
C: ...
M: Cripper?
C: [looks around, looks at me, then flops back down and covers head with sheet] Don't wake me!
M: But were you going to shoot Buffy?
C: No, I'd never do that to Beefy.

Someone's playing too much Fallout

2009-10-29T19:41:00.002-04:00

Chris: [claps hand on my arm] Welcome back!
Me: From where?
C: Uh, let's see. It was from one genre to another.
M: Genre?
C: Yeah, first you were deadly beauty and now you're...I can't remember the word.
M: I'm a deadly beauty?
C: Well, of course!
M: [laughs] Ok.
C: I just have to finish this scenario.
M: What scenario?
C: In Anchorage.
M: Ohhh, is this Fallout?
C: Yeah.
M: Are you trying to kill me?
C: No.
M: I'm on your team?
C: Yeah.
M: Am I helpful?
C: Yeah.
M: Well, that's good.

Not unique

2009-10-04T14:44:00.002-04:00

Chris: Who has the power to decide who's playing?
Me: You do.
C: How?
M: Just push the button.
C: Which one?
M: The red one.
C: But there are many buttons.
M: Just push the red one.
C: There must be millions of people playing. How do I have the power to choose?
M: You're the only one playing now.
C: There's 13 million people playing. Statistically I'm not unique.
M: Sure you are.
C: If I were to pick my nose right now and do a survey, I would not be unique.
M: What if you picked your nose and screamed "I like to eat eagles!"
C: Are you accusing me of being asleep?
M: [laughs] Yes.
C: I'm totally conscious on this one. (Where have I heard that before?)
M: [laughs]

NFL logos

2009-09-29T14:49:00.002-04:00

Chris: [disapprovingly] Hmm...I don't know about that.
Me: About what?
C: They're changing the hood ornament...I mean logo of the NFL.
M: To what?
C: Well, anything other than what it is now would be foolish.
M: So why are they changing it?
C: Eh, it's what the youngins tend to do.
M: Are you changing it?
C: Noo!
M: Who is?
C: Some newbie.
M: Oh, well, you better stop him.
C: Ok.

Belly Spots

2009-09-11T01:12:00.002-04:00

Chris: [pats belly like a drum]
Me: Whatcha doin?
C: Half a spot on my belly.
M: A spot?
C: No, half a spot.
M: Why only half?
C: The other half...connected...my back.
M: So, it goes through you?
C: No.
M: How'd it get there?
C: I dunno.
M: Do you have a guess?
C: No.
M: Is it dangerous?
C: Oh yes. Very.
M: What does it do?
C: It erases...the untanglers.
M: Untanglers?
C: Yeah, the news and the shows.
M: Your spot does that?
C: What spot?
M: The one you told me about a minute ago. Oh, sorry. Half a spot.
C: Huh?
M: Are you confused?
C: No?
M: You sound confused.
C: Yes?

Inhale-o-heezy

2009-08-29T20:03:00.002-04:00

Chris: Not quite yet.
Me: Huh?
C: I have to wait to pop my inhale-o-heezy.
M: [laughs] Inhale-o-heezy?
C: Yup.
M: What's that?
C: Let me show you!
M: [waits]...well?
C: Hm?
M: Is it your inhaler?
C: Yeah.

By the way, happy birthday to my wonderful, sleep-challenged husband!! I love you! :}

Inappropriate comments from imaginary people

2009-06-21T21:10:00.002-04:00

Chris: He's almost there. [points at TV]
Me: Almost where?
C: Out of breath.
M: From what?
C: I don't know. We just wait for him when he's out of breath and then we all keep going.
M: Are you in a race?
C: No.
M: What is he doing?
C: I'll ask him.
M: Ok. Go ahead.
C: [waits a few seconds] Ok, I asked him. He said "blub blub blub blub." Exactly like that.
M: [laughs] Can you translate?
C: Yeah. He said he really likes your boobs. [puckers lips for kiss]
M: [kisses him and laughs] That's inappropriate for him to say. I can't post this!
C: Eh. [dances]
M: [laughs] Are you dancing again?
C: Mmm-hmm.
M: To what?
C: I don't know.
M: You're so weird.

Accents

2009-06-16T21:45:00.002-04:00

Chris: [chuckles]
Me: What?
C: [in British accent] I don't know.
M: Are you British?
C: [still in accent] I don't know.
M: You're talking in a British accent.
C: [still in accent] I could be British or I could be Indian.
M: Indian? You don't have that accent.
C: [in bad Indian accent] I could be Indian. Everyone loves them in phase 5.
M: Phase 5 of what?
C: [back to the British accent] Take over. [starts dancing]
M: [laughs] Are you dancing?
C: [still in British accent] I don't know.

Advice and Mickey balloons

2009-06-08T19:06:00.003-04:00

Chris: That's some pretty good advice there.
Me: What advice?
C: On delivering the sandwich.
M: What kind of sandwich is it?
C: I don't know. I'm just making it up as I go along. [makes Price is Right losing sound]
M: [laughs] Oh, ok.
C: Mouse ears.
M: Huh?
C: On that balloon over there.
M: Where?
C: The kid in my head has a Mickey balloon.
M: Oh, so I can't see it?
C: No.
M: Why can only you see it?
C: I'm fun.
M: I'm boring?
C: No.
M: Oh, ok.

No parking

2009-04-26T17:43:00.002-04:00

Chris: [mumble mubmle] document!
Me: What document?
C: Me!
M: You're a document?
C: Yes.
M: You're not a person?
C: Well, that's what you have to decide. Am I a person or a document?
M: A person.
C: I'm not a printing document? Of the [mumble mumble]?
M: Do you have an on/off switch?
C: No.
M: So what happens when I push this? [taps his forehead]
C: You don't wanna know!
M: I did it already! What will happen?
C: Nevada will park on New Jersey tomorrow.
M: [laughs]

Doctor

2009-04-22T17:03:00.001-04:00

Chris: Doctor, I'm kind of concerned you left all the greens on your plate.
Me: Greens?
C: Yeah, all the broccolis.
M: Who are you calling doctor?
C: [with attitude] Who you callin' doctor?

Little rats

2009-04-17T20:45:00.002-04:00

Chris: [looks very confused] What is that? [points at end of bed] (Sound familiar?)
Me: My hoodie.
C: Oh, ok.
M: What did you think it was?
C: A little rat.
M: A rat? Why would there be a rat in the bed?
C: I was waiting for you to tell me.
M: Where would it have come from?
C: I don't know.

Pianning

2009-04-03T13:07:00.000-04:00

Chris: The man with the piano...watch out...[mumble]...nuking.
Me: What about the man?
C: He has a piano.
M: What is he doing with it?
C: ...Pianning.
M: [laughs] Pianning?
C: Yeah. That's what you do with a piano.
M: Ok. And what did you say about nuking?
C: Nuking.
M: Yeah, who's nuking?
C: I don't know.

I think someone's been playing too much Fallout 3 lately.

Super Powers

2009-03-10T22:34:00.000-04:00

Chris: Hm. I didn't notice that before. [raises arm and lets it fall back down]
Me: Notice what?
C: [raises arm and lets it fall back down]
M: What are you pointing at?
C: Well, before...like, say 3 weeks ago, this arm would have had no trouble holding itself up. Now...[flops arm down again]
M: Now it falls?
C: Yeah.
M: Why?
C: Well, someone took the power, so it can't hold itself up.
M: I'm sure you could hold it up if you tried!
C: But that's the point! It used to stay on its own. But someone stole the super power.
M: Your super power is holding your arm upright? [laughing]
C: [smiles] Pretty impressive, huh?
M: [laughs]
C: And it's all because of the anupi-nupi plant!
M: [laughs harder] The what??
C: The anupi-nupi plant.
M: Oh, is that the plant we were talking about earlier? The one that can be used as a paper clip? (We had been joking around about this made-up plant earlier, long story)
C: No, I've already forgotten the name of that one.

Yarn death

2009-03-02T13:22:00.000-05:00

Well, as I've done a few times before, I went and had another midnight freak-out. Chris's sleep-talking is usually subdued and he rarely gets upset about anything he's talking about at the time. I'm not so lucky. Me? I have the occasional "OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING" (even if it is just a spider) nightmare. Neither of us wrote down this conversation, but we both remember the gist of it.

I woke up in a complete panic. All I knew was that Chris had some horrible disease where yarn grew out of his mouth and suffocated him. It was my job to snip the end of the yarn as it came out his mouth, at least every half hour or so, and if I failed to do so, he'd die. I looked over at him, realized that I'd fallen asleep and let him go all night without me snipping the yarn, and was convinced he was dead. I apparently shook him while hyperventilating and panicking (though neither of us remembers what I was saying while hyperventilating), trying to make him come back to life, which of course woke him up. He calmly told me it was just a nightmare and that it was ok. It took me a few minutes to realize that everything was ok and it was just a dream. I suppose it's probably a good thing I didn't have scissors nearby...anyway, I hope I don't have any dreams like this again, though. It was pretty awful.

Crawling fish

2009-02-27T15:44:00.001-05:00

Chris: It's constantly crawling.
Me: What is?
C: Waters. Waters.
M: Water?
C: Wilbur.
M: The fish? (We have a fish named Wilbur.)
C: Yeah.
M: How's he crawling?
C: He's going from start to finish.
M: Is he in a race?
C: No.
M: What's the start?
C: I don't know.
M: How is he crawling?
C: I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
M: What would he say?
C: Merp!

Absorbable toast?

2009-02-24T20:19:00.001-05:00

It's funny how talking about Chris not talking in his sleep seems to actually prompt him to talk again. We were at our friends' house this weekend and they mentioned that it seems that Chris has been quiet lately, based on not seeing anything new on the blog. Lo and behold, that night, he spoke again:

Chris: The previous method of delivery was the toaster.
Me: What's being delivered?
C: The toaster distributes it.
M: Right, but what is it distributing?
C: It gets absorbed into your skin. It's like... [thinks] not really like a medicine... [thinks some more]...
M: Like food?
C: No.
M: Do you drink it?
C: No.
M: So what is it?
C: It's absorbed into the skin.
M: What is?
C: [thinks] I don't know what it is. It's absorbed.
M: Is this a conspiracy?
C: Yeah, sure.
M: [laughs] Ok.
[a few minutes pass]
M: [not expecting an answer since, typically, Chris completely leaves his train of thought/falls into a deeper sleep once we stop talking] So, what was the old method?
C: Uh, well, it's absorbed. What do you mean?
M: Well, you said the toaster is the new method. What's the old one?
C: Um...what?
M: Where did it originally come from?
C: Originally? I guess the guy.
M: What guy? God?
C: No. [said like I suggested something silly]
M: Then who?
C: [suddenly very confused] Huh? I don't know...
M: Ok, go back to sleep. [pats Chris]

Turtles and special effects

2009-01-18T12:27:00.002-05:00

Chris: You'll notice you never see the turtle in both scenes.
Me: What?
C: [points at TV] Well, you see, the turtle isn't in the two scenes. There's no super special effects. Effects. [gestures with hands]
M: The turtle?
C: In the scene. There are no special special effects. [turns head to the side and fake-snores, complete with whistle]
M: [laughs] You don't snore like that!
C: [smiles and keeps fake-snoring a few times]

Missiles

2009-01-16T20:32:00.001-05:00

Chris: [points at bedroom door] What is that?? [said in very serious tone]
Me: Where?
C: There! In the corner!
M: The air vent?
C: Oh.
M: What did you think it was?
C: An array of missiles.
M: Pointed at us??
C: Yes.
M: Why?
C: I don't know.
M: Who was pointing them at us?
C: I don't know. I didn't get a good look.

The Saddams

2008-11-28T15:14:00.003-05:00

I'm currently in NJ visiting my family, so I didn't have my current setup of paper and/or voice recorder, so unfortunately this conversation isn't exact:

Chris: Oh man, I couldn't find the Saddams.
Me: Saddams? Like Saddam Hussein?
C: Yeah, there was a whole line of them.
M: Why would you want to find them?
C: [spews out a bunch of technical terms involving pneumatic pressures and pipes and things like that, which starts out strong and clear and slowly winds down to a mumble]
M: What? What the heck are you talking about? What does engineering have to do with Saddam Hussein?
C: ... [asleep]

Leg Bladders

2008-10-10T14:14:00.002-04:00

Chris: This isn't going to work.
Me: What?
C: Well, I thought I could get the leg bladder, but it's too small, so I didn't get credit.
M: What's a leg bladder?
C: It's like a small leg bladder.
M: But what is it?
C: You know how there can be a bladder? It's like something hollow in the leg.
M: Like a swim bladder? In fish?
C: [looks at me] Yeah.
M: Do you know what that is?
C: Huh? I don't know....
M: It's a biology term. I don't think you've heard of it. So, what's a leg bladder?
C: [looks really confused] I don't know what that is.
M: You were just talking about it.
C: I was?
M: Are you awake now?
C: Yes. [pokes my cheek]
M: Are you a professional?
C: Yes.

A trip

2008-10-09T19:10:00.001-04:00

Chris: This is going to be awesome!
Me: What is?
C: I'm going to help these people get from native space to where they're going.
M: What people?
C: [looks around a bit, then points at the TV] Them.
M: The people on TV?
C: Yeah.
M: How do you know them?
C: Um...I don't. [seems a bit sad about this]
M: It's ok. You want to take me instead?
C: [looks at me, completely confused] What?
M: Are you awake?
C: No.
M: Oh. Well, you said you were taking them somewhere.
C: Yeah.
M: But you don't know them, so I asked if you want to take me instead.
C: Oh. Ok.
M: So I can go?
C: Yeah. Just don't make any trouble.

Tarantulas

2008-10-02T19:55:00.002-04:00

Chris: Woah! [points up]
Me: What?
C: I thought I just saw a perfect tarantula up there, but it's not.
M: A tarantula??
C: Yeah. It was really cool. But I think it was just playing with my eyes.
M: Was it just the ceiling fan?
C: Yeah. It's too bad.
M: Too bad??
C: Yeah. It was really cool.
M: But that's a big spider!
C: Yeah.
M: I'm afraid of spiders!
C: Yeah.
M: You don't care?
C: No.
M: [laughs and slaps Chris's shoulder] Cripper! That's mean! Why don't you care?
C: Because your fears are silly. [rolls over]

A chain of cats

2008-09-29T17:57:00.003-04:00

Chris: [Chris shifts position in bed, the cat jumps off the bed, and Chris sits up] Uh oh.
Me: What's the matter?
C: I think I just broke the link. One of the cats broke off.
M: Cats?
C: Yeah. There was a chain of cats and one of them just broke off.
M: Buffy just jumped off the bed. It's ok.
C: [relieved and lays back down] Oh, ok.

Electric People

2008-09-26T07:29:00.002-04:00

Chris: [laughs]
Me: What's funny?
C: They put the electric guy up before the non-electric guy.
M: Up where?
C: Just there. [points up]
M: So why is that funny?
C: Well, they put the electric ones first. They have no legs.
M: No legs?
C: Or arms.
M: Are you sure they're people?
C: That's a terrible thing to say!
M: I don't mean it in a mean way! I just mean with no arms and legs and being electric, are you sure they aren't just, like, robots or something?
C: That's awful.
M: Why?
C: ....
M: Cripper?
C: ....
M: Are you back to sleep?
C: Mmmhmm.

Megaphones and chicken

2008-09-21T18:28:00.000-04:00

Chris: [mumble mumble] lost the equipment. It was good for megaphoning.
Me: What?
C: What what? Where'd I lose you?
M: Well, you were saying something about losing your equipment and something being good for megaphoning.
C: Mmmhmm. [sounds slightly confused]
M: What did you mean?
C:....
M: Cripper?
C: Hm?
M: What did you mean?
C: Probably chicken.
M: [laughs] Chicken?
C: [mumble]
M: I don't get it.
C: I don't understand how you could not get it.
M: Well, what did you lose?
C: I already told you.
M: Well, tell me again.
C: Chicken.
M: [laughs] No, you said something about a megaphone.
C:...
M: Cripper? Hey.
C: Hm?
M: What about the megaphone?
C: I don't remember any microphones.
M: No, not microphone. Megaphone.
C: Oh, I don't remember any of those either.
M: Ok. Tell me something else then.
C: About what?
M: I don't know, whatever you want. What kind of chicken?
C: I dunno.
M: Is it alive or are you eating it?
C: No, you're eating it.
M: Oh, ok. Not like the bald eagles though?
C: No.

I'm a pain >:)

2008-09-20T23:28:00.001-04:00

Chris: Nedegg.
Me: What?
C: It's transporting government property.
M: Nittig?
C: [enunciating each syllable clearly for me] Ned-egg.
M: What's a nedegg?
C: Well, you know...it's your cargo. Nedegg.
M: Do I have a boat?
C: Ehm, no.
M: I have a plane?
C: No.
M: Where is my cargo?
C: Somewhere in the nedegg.
M: What is a nedegg though?
C: I dunno.
M: Well, describe it for me.
C:....
M: Cripper?
C: Hmm?
M: Describe it for me.
C:....
M: Hey! Describe it for me!
C: [grunt]
M: What's a nedegg?
C:....
M: No, don't go back to sleep yet! Wait! Hey! [pokes Chris]
C:...
M: Hey!! [getting louder, trying to wake him]
C:....
M: Cripper? [pokes Chris again]
C: Ow.
M: [laughing] What's a nedegg?
C:....
M: Cripper! Come on, this is for the website! [still poking]
C: Ow.
M: What's a nedegg? [shoves a little]
C: [grunt]
M: [laughs] What is it?
C: Nooo.
M: [laughs] No what?
C: Oww.
M: What is a nedegg??
C: [slightly exasperated] I don't know!
M: Tell me!
C: What do you need to know?
M: Are you awake now?
C: Probably!
M: Aw, you're a party pooper.

Teehee, I was a bit of a pain. What can I say? I'm desperate for material! He's been too quiet lately!

Shooting

2008-09-04T12:36:00.002-04:00

Chris: [mumbles something about ammo]
Me: Why do you need ammo?
C: For the competition.
M: You're in a competition?
C: We both are.
M: I'm shooting a gun??
C: Yeah.
M: Can I use a bow and arrow instead?
C: Are you good at it?
M: Sure. (I've shot an arrow like twice in my life, during a gym class in middle school, I'm sure I'm far from good.)
C: Ok then.
M: I don't have to shoot an animal do I?
C: Not right now.
M: [gasp] I don't want to shoot any animals!!
C: Sissy.
M: No! Animals are nice!
C: [mumble mumble...no longer intelligible]

Wedding plans?

2008-08-24T15:01:00.002-04:00

Chris: [mumble] something streamlined [mumble] shoulder.
Me: What?
C: Well, you have the three things that hurt my shoulder.
M: Three things?
C: Yeah, you just unloaded them.
M: What are they?
C: Well the first was a wedding plan.
M: Ok.
C: And the second was....a wedding plan.
M: You already said that one.
C: Hmm...[said in almost an accusatory tone, as if the wedding plan is the only thing somehow hurting his shoulder. Also, we're already married.]
M: Ok, so what's the third?
C: [asleep]

Pinky and the Brain?

2008-08-17T15:08:00.002-04:00

Chris: [thumbs up at me] Good job in there.
Me: Doing what?
C: Collecting the samples in the lab.
M: Why was I in the lab with you?
C: I only have two hands.
M: But I don't work there.
C: It doesn't matter. It's no-brainer work.
M: Are you calling me stupid?
C: No.
M: Oh, ok. So they just let anyone in there?
C: Yeah.
M: Well, I'm glad we did good. What are we doing tomorrow?
C: Same thing we do every day, Mernitner.
M: [I think I know where this is going, giggling] And what is that?
C: Try to take over the world.

I blueted (and I'm apparently pretty talented!)

2008-08-02T18:00:00.003-04:00

Chris: [mumble mumble] blue.
Me: What?
C: You blueted.
M: I blueted? What does that mean?
C: You used your special blue ability and melted into a big blue mess on the floor.
M: I melted?? Why would I do that?
C: For comedy of course. For the band.
M: The band? We have a band?
C: Well, it's just a group of people who get together from time to time. That's how bands get started, yo.
M: [laughs] Oh, ok. What instrument do you play?
C: Drums.
M: And what do I play?
C: Drums.
M: We both play drums?
C: Well, every time I go over there, you're there.
M: I'm stealing it?
C: Yeah.
M: I don't play bass? (I play bass and he plays drums in Rock Band. That's what I figured he was talking about here)
C: Yeah.
M: I play both?
C: Yeah.
(heh, I can play multiple instruments at once!)

Pinot Grigio

2008-07-24T15:49:00.002-04:00

Chris: It doesn't sound like the right kind.
Me: Right kind of what?
C: Pinot something something something.
M: Pinot grigio?
C: Something like that. [under breath]: Boozehound.
M: Hey! Did you just call me boozehound?? I am not!
C: Whatever. [pretends to snore]
M: Are you pretending to snore?
C: Yes. [pretends to snore again]
M: [laughs]
C: Just keep it around for the getaway.
M: What? Are you planning a heist?
C: No. It's just courteous.
M: To provide a getaway?
C: Yes. For the lab people.
M: Why do they need it?
C: To get away from the mess.
M: Well, that's not very courteous. To just leave a mess?
C: Only the first time.
M: Who will clean it up?
C: Just think of how much less will be left behind.
M: Um, ok.

Kitcher cable

2008-07-23T22:34:00.004-04:00

Chris: [laughs] That's awfully weak for a kitcher.
Me: A what?
C: Kitcher.
M: What's a kitcher?
C: [now talking in a weird southern /western movie accent] Kitcher cable. For dueling.
M:Dueling?
C: Yessir.
M: Are you from the old west?
C: Yes.
M: So what's a kitcher cable?
C: It's thin.
M: Is it a dagger?
C: Yeah.
M: Do you have to be skilled to use it?
C: Yes, very much.
M: Are you going to duel me?
C: Yessir.

The Fearsome Variety

2008-07-20T18:33:00.002-04:00

Chris: There are some bugs of the fearsome variety over there. [points at wall]
Me: Fearsome?
C: Yeah.
M: What kind?
C: Disney [mumble, mumble]
M: Disney? Wouldn't they be cute then?
C: Only the first hundred or so.
M: Oh, the rest aren't?
C: No.
M: How are they fearsome?
C: .... [falls asleep]

Someone needs some paper!

2008-07-13T22:26:00.002-04:00

It has happened again! A few nights ago, I was the one talking in my sleep! Unfortunately, Chris didn't write down what I said and so only remembers a gist of what it was about. Apparently, when his alarm went off, I sat up, looked at him, and started frantically asking if what was going on was going to stop (I appeared not to realize it was his alarm clock going off). I don't remember doing this at all.

I do know that I've woken up a few times in the past few weeks thinking there's a spider nearby, feeling quite certain of it and really freaked out, but I've usually been able to figure out it was a dream or something. I really need to get over this spider thing...

Tickle Books

2008-07-07T22:15:00.002-04:00

Chris: Why is it telling him to smile?
Me: What?
C: The book.
M: What book?
C: The one on the commercial.
M: How does it make him smile?
C: It says "tickle me" or something.
M: And who is the book making smile?
C: Malfoy.

*Chris has never read any of the Harry Potter books. I'm a huge fan, and do try to persuade him to read the books by leaving them on his nightstand - maybe that's where he got this. :)

Fuzzy Arms and Dope

2008-06-04T21:18:00.003-04:00

Chris: [rolls over] Argh! [flops arm]
Me: Arm asleep?
C: Yeah. Finally. [flings arm toward head and pokes eye] Ow.
M: Finally? Did you want it to fall asleep?
C: Yeah, I've been waiting.
M: Why??
C: Because then it's someone else's arm putting the ammonia into the dope.
M: Dope?? Like drugs?!
C: No. The polymer dope. In the jar here. [points at nothing]
M: Oh, at work?
C: Yeah.
M: Why would you want your arm asleep for that?
C: Uh...
M: Wouldn't that be dangerous?
C: Um...yeah.

Picture Update!

2008-06-03T22:12:00.004-04:00

So, a while back, Chris and I had a conversation about bald eagles. This past weekend, we took a trip to Myrtle Beach and I captured some evidence of Chris's craziness:
It seems he prefers endangered species to the steakhouse right behind him. Tsk tsk.

Big Scary World

2008-06-03T22:06:00.001-04:00

Chris: You don't have to make it as big as it is.
Me: As what?
C: It.
M: What is "it"?
C: Everything.
M: The world?
C: Yeah.
M: You don't like that the world is big?
C: No.
M: Why not?
C: It [mumble mumble mumble]...

A Sandwich

2008-05-08T21:04:00.002-04:00

Chris: [laughs]
Me: What?
C: Do you have the meat and ham?
M: The meat and ham?
C: Yeah.
M: Like, for a sandwich?
C: Yeah.
M: Oh, yeah. I have it. Is that what you want for dinner?
C: No.
M: For lunch?
C: No.
M: For what?
C: You know, for today.
M: Oh, ok. You're taking it to work?
C: Yeah.
M: Do you want a drink or anything?
C: No, it's not important.
M: Ok. What kind of bread?
C: ...
M: Chris? What kind of bread?
C: Huh?
M: For your sandwich.
C: Huh?
M: You don't remember?
C: No...

Mario Kart

2008-05-02T12:49:00.001-04:00

Chris: Look at these people! They're just like us.
Me: Who?
C: These people here.
M: How are they like us?
C: It's neck and neck.
M: Are we playing Mario Kart? (We had played Mario Kart on DS all weekend while visiting grandparents)
C: Yeah.
M: Oh, ok. Who's winning?
C: It's a tie game.
M: What character are you playing?
C: Uh...I don't remember.

Acer

2008-05-01T19:26:00.001-04:00

Chris: Oh man.
Me: What?
C: It was so much easier with Acer.
M: Acer? What?
C: It was so much easier with [mumble]...
M: What?
C: [snores]

Snow and crabs

2008-04-17T19:30:00.003-04:00

Chris: Snow.
Me: Snow?
C: Yep. Snow.
M: Where?
C: Right there. [points at pillow]
M: There's snow inside?
C: Yeah.
M: How'd it get there?
C: It was wet.
M: Do you mean drool?
C: Yeah. Well, it was at one point.
M: But it's snow now?
C: Yeah.
M: That's pretty special drool you have.
C: I know.
M: What else can it do?
C: Well, it's good [mumble] frustrating stuff.
M: What frustrating stuff?
C: You know, the crabs and [mumble].
M: There's crabs in you drool?? It's an ocean now?
C: No. You're putting words in my mouth.
M: Ok then, you tell me.
C: Wait.
M: For what?
C: [is asleep]

Falling under a spell

2008-04-10T15:49:00.001-04:00

Chris: [smiles]
Me: Why are you smiling?
C: I'm not smiling, I'm just shifting position.
M: Oh, ok.
C: You're the only one who hasn't fallen under the spell.
M: Whose spell?
C: Adams.
M: Who's Adams?
C: The arrangement of molecules.

Limited Access

2008-03-31T21:56:00.003-04:00

Chris: No guns [mumble mumble] limited access.
Me: Why no guns?
C: Because of the made (or maid maybe..) I made back then.
M: What do you mean?
C: You'll see.

My face

2008-03-30T13:38:00.002-04:00

Chris: Is my face the only part of the movie that doesn't move?
M: Your face?
C: Yeah.
M: What movie?
C: The movie that DFA comes with.

He finally speaks again!

2008-03-21T12:42:00.002-04:00

Ok, so Chris has been really quiet lately while sleeping. I'm not sure why. But now, he finally talked again!! And what a lovely conversation we had...

Chris: Hm..I wonder.
Me: Huh?
C: If a million people took a million chow...ok?
M: Uh huh...
C: And a billion people took a billion chow...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: Do you see where we're going?
M: No, not really..
C: Well, we're doing...[sees recorder] What...what's that?
M: [holding back a laugh] It's nothing! Continue with your thought.
C: No!
M: [laughs] Why?
C: Because.
M: Because what?
C: [rolling away from me to his side] I'm not asleep.
M: [laughs] Yes you are.
C: No.
M: Well, ok, if you're not asleep, I'll put this away over here. [pretends to put recorder away] So, what were you talking about? What is chow?
C: I'll be over here.
M: [laughing] Don't be upset. What is chow?
C: Food.
M: Ok, so what do you mean?
C: What do you mean what do I mean?
M: Where were you going with it? You asked "Don't you see where we're going?"
C: Uh...
M: A billion people eat a billion chow?
C: Yep.
M: So what?
C: So I think Mernitner's evil. (I'm Mernitner - it's a silly name he calls me)
M: [laughs] I'm not evil!
C: Yes you are.
M: Why?
C: Because.
M: Because what?
C: You are.
M: I am?
C: Evil.
M: But why? I love you!
C: ....[is either ignoring me or is asleep]
M: Ok, nighty night Cripper. (my silly name for him)
C: Night.

Mooses and bears

2008-02-13T11:19:00.002-05:00

Chris: Is that one of them?
Me: Huh?
C: [mumble mumble]
M: What? [laughs]
C: [sounding slightly annoyed] What don't you get?
M: Well, what did you say?
C: [talking very slowly and clearly like I'm stupid] I'm looking for a fresh little moose case.
M: Like a bag?
C: No! Like...like you have today...right?
M: Mmmhmm.
C: And you've got the moose...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: And then you've got..the guy...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: Ok, and then you've got whatever it is that's terribly offensive...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: Ok, it's just those three ingredients.
M: So, it's like a trial or something?
C: Trial? [sounding really confused]
M: Like a murder case?
C: Yeah.
M: So why did you say is that one of them?
C: Because it is for the...for the uh...for the bear.
M: What bear?
C: He's holding up midnight and, um..whatever the combination is.
M: Are you talking about Attumen? (from World of Warcraft)
C: No..
M: You saw a bear in the room?
C: I don't know why I ended up with a boss weapon.
M: What boss weapon?
C: Well, I'm holding...
M: Did you get the mace?
C: No, no. There is no mace.

Getting rid of everything

2008-02-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

Well, Chris has been sick for the past week, but he's finally starting to feel better - and back to talking in his sleep!

Chris: We're going to get rid of all of the stuff that isn't being used over there.
Me: Huh?
C: You know, all of the stuff upstairs. Are you paying attention?
M: What are we getting rid of?
C: [looks at the tape recorder and glares at me]
M: [laughs] What? Why are you glaring at me?
C: [glares]
M: You said we were getting rid of everything upstairs that nobody used.
C: [still glaring, playfully]
M: What? [laughs] You're talking, so I have to record it! You said I wasn't paying attention. This will help me pay attention.
C: No it won't.
M: [laughs] Yes it will.
C: It'll help you work against me!
M: Well, what were you talking about?
C: Nevermind!
M: [laughs] Come on!
C: [smiling] I don't wanna talk about it.
M: Are you actually awake now?
C: I think so...
M: I can't tell if you are or not...Ok, well, I'll let you go back to sleep. Maybe when you wake up a little later, you can tell me why we're getting rid of everything in the upstairs.
C: Hmmmm...

Square roots and the base

2008-01-25T16:57:00.000-05:00

Chris: Square root.
Me: What?
C: Two.
M: The square root of two?
C: Yeah. You're good to go.
M: What do you mean?
C: They'll let you in.
M: Hm?
C: The base will let you in.
M: What base?
C: You know, the caretakers.
M: Caretakers of what?
C: The base.
M: [laughs] Yeah, but what base?
C: What do you mean what base?
M: Is it like a military base?
C: Yeah...
M: We're in the military now?
C: ....
M: Chris? Helloo?
(He fell asleep, I never got to learn if we're in the military...)

Sleepy is going to Ironforge.

2008-01-24T21:19:00.000-05:00

Chris: I clicked the portal.
M: Huh? What portal?
C: Ironforge.
M: When did you click that?
C: Just now.
M: But you're in bed.
C: Hm.
M: How did you click a portal to Ironforge?
C: ....
M: Chris?
C: Hmmm?
M: How did you click a portal to Ironforge in bed?
C: I dunno.
M: But you said you did.
C: Hm..I'm special.
M: Oh. What do you need in Ironforge?
C: Um...
M: Chris?
C: Hm?
M: What do you need in Ironforge?
C: Um...
M: You don't know?
C: No.
M: Well this isn't a very fun conversation.
C: Mmmmm...

The moon again

2008-01-22T21:38:00.000-05:00

Chris: Burned.
Me: Huh?
C: Burned. It's awfully close. [points up]
M: What's burned? Up on the ceiling?
C: Yeah.
M: What's burning?
C: The moon.
M: The moon!? [laughs] Why is the moon on fire?
C: Cause of how close it is.
M: The earth set it on fire or the sun set it on fire?
C: Uh.... [zones off]
M: Hey! What set it on fire?
C: Hm?
M: What set the moon on fire?
C: What mood?
M: [laughs] The moon.
C: Uh.... (I think he's forgetten what we're talking about now)
M: Did we do it?
C: I don't know.
M: Oh, ok.

Louis Armstrong

2008-01-21T17:38:00.000-05:00

(Who's Line is it Anyway is on in the background with Wayne Brady pretending to be Louis Armstrong. This conversation makes him look awake, but he wasn't.)

Chris: [laughs]
Me: What?
C: This is a good one.
M: Oh, ok.
C: Have you really not seen this?
M: Not this one.
C: It's a good one. You'll like it.
M: I don't really like Louis Armstrong though.
C: This relationship is over.
M: [laughs]
C: [starts smiling and tapping chest in rhythm of song]

Mice and Ink

2008-01-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

Chris: Uh oh.
Me: What?
C: I forget, what it was, but someone didn't pay attention to the, uh, to the...to the guy who was inking.
M: Mmmhmm...
C: ...and the person who was getting inked, like, wasn't narrating properly, so [laughs] when, uh, when he was talking, the little mice he was generating were just running amok. They weren't actually concentrated anywhere.
M: Mmmhmm...
C: It's uh, all over the place. Just, uh, it's the way it seemed.
M: Why were there mice there?
C: It's from the tattoo.
M: Mice come out of tattoos?
C: No, not always.
M: Only sometimes?
C: These specifically.
M: Oh. Is everything ok now?
C: Well, they made quite a mess.
M: Who cleaned it up?
C: No one yet.
M: Oh.
C: It's gonna take a while.

Puh

2008-01-09T22:44:00.000-05:00

Chris: 29
Me: What do you mean?
C: I mean like, this, uh, this package, like, this starting character has grown in size.
M: What starting character?
C: You know, the character on the screen.
M: Oh. What do you mean 29? Is that like a size?
C: Well...[puh]
M: Hm?
C: [puh]
M: [laughs] What does that mean?
C: I'm torn between mods right now.

Pappy

2008-01-07T18:50:00.000-05:00

Chris: [in southern hick accent] Bear...
Me: Huh?
C: This guy right here's the one who's killed Pappy. [points to stomach]
M: Pappy?
C: Yup.
M: So what are you going to do?
C: It's time for payback.

Team Traveling

2007-12-26T19:01:00.000-05:00

Chris: They sure do make it hard to travel.
Me: Huh?
C: Well, anytime someone in the team wants to travel.
M: What team?
C: The barren team.
M: Oh, ok. How is it hard to travel?
C: Anytime they want to travel, they have to smell a marble.
M: You're silly.
C: Yeah! [smiles]

Resin

2007-12-22T18:19:00.000-05:00

Chris: Resin knows what's up!
Me: What's resin?
C: A super-sticky substance.
M: How can it know what's up?
C: It just does, ok?

Pepe LePew

2007-12-18T07:02:00.000-05:00

Chris: Uh oh.
Me: What?
C: Are you going to summon a skunk to my upper bicep?
M: Huh?
C: Pepe LePew.
M: Why would I do that?
C: I dunno. Do you hold a cartoony grudge against me?
M: No.
C: Well, that's a relief.

Gravity

2007-12-16T17:05:00.000-05:00

Chris: I think I figured out the problem with gravity.
Me: What is it?
C: From the user to the box.
M: What does that have to do with gravity?
C: The cables from the box to the...

User Friendly

2007-12-11T20:16:00.000-05:00

Chris: It doesn't get more user friendly than this.
Me: Than what?
C: The parts. You just walk up to the user friendly parts.
M: User friendly?
C: Yeah. The car doesn't spit at you and actively shun you away.

The target

2007-12-06T08:53:00.000-05:00

Chris: Oh God, that's awful!
Me: What is?
C: The targets.
M: What's targeted?
C: Well, it used to be just thumbs.
M: What is it now?
C: Some bad dragon.

Free Fays

2007-12-03T20:48:00.000-05:00

Chris: There are plenty of people out there playing free fays.
Me: What's free fays?
C: You'll see.
M: Is it good?
C: No.
M: Is it scary?
C: No.
M: What is it?
C: You'll see.

Caskins

2007-11-28T19:52:00.000-05:00

Chris: Wah! Caskins! [points up]
Me: Huh?
C: There's hundreds of them!
M: What's a caskin?
C: You put dead bodies in them.
M: Casket?
C: Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.
M: There's no caskets up there.
C: Are you blind?
M: No, you're sleeping.
C: No, I'm not.
M: Yes you are. It's impossible to have caskets on our ceiling. How would they get up there?
C: Flashlights.
M: How does that work?
C: Television.
M: Now you're making no sense.

Another talkative night

2007-11-27T17:57:00.000-05:00

Three separate conversations!

Chris: Yawn. [points at fan]
Me: Huh?
C: It was shaking somewhat violently like it was going to fall on me.
M: The fan?
C: Yeah.
M: It's not moving.
C: Hm...

Chris: It's the chimish that I cherish every day.
Me: The what?
C: Chimish.
M: Chimish?
C: Chimish!
M: Chermer?
C: Chermer!
M: You cherish Charlie?
C: No. Chimish.

Chris: Well, I think tonight was a very fun day.
Me: Why?
C: There were lots of fun things that happened.
M: Like what?
C: Like levitating duckie bank.

The Craft and the Dating Game

2007-11-26T22:33:00.000-05:00

Chris: This was the first part to get hit by the rock.
Me: What was?
C: The craft.
M: How'd it get hit?
C: It was...let's see...how did it go? [hums theme song from The Dating Game]
M: Are you singing that song again?? (he had hummed it a few times earlier in the day)
C: Yup.
M: So what got hit?
C: Huh?
M: You said the craft got hit.
C: Well, that doesn't make much sense.
M: I know. What's a craft? Like a boat?
C: No.
M: Like a skill?
C: Yeah. Kinda like manufacturing. Blacksmithing.
M: Like from World of Warcraft?
C: Yup.
M: [I go to write all this down, a few minutes pass]
C: [sings The Dating Game song again]
M: [laughs]

Old

2007-11-21T14:18:00.000-05:00

Chris: I would like to actively point out how old I am in this example.
Me: Oh? How old are you?
C: Several hundred hours or so.
M: Oh, ok. Why are you pointing this out?
C: To give the younger ones a chance.
M: A chance at what?
C: Well, you know, to get off the ground.
M: Off the ground? Can they fly?
C: No. I'm speaking figuratively of course. Duh.
M: Oh, I see. So, is being old good or bad?
C: Mostly bad.
M: So, are you not doing well?
C: Well, they like me, so it makes up for things.
M: Is this a competition?
C: Survival of the fittest.

Spectacles

2007-11-20T17:03:00.000-05:00

Chris: I'll find a thing of [mumbles].
Me: Of what?
C: Of spectacles.
M: Spectacles? For who?
C: Me.
M: Why do you need them?
C: To be invisible.
M: Invisible! How do they do that?
C: Huh?

A Special Treat

2007-11-13T22:18:00.001-05:00

Chris has been unusually quiet lately, but here's a surprise: I was the one doing the talking last night! A tad embarrassing, but here it is:

Me: Chris!! Chris!! Get up! [shakes Chris violently] Get out of bed! There's a s-, a s-, a s-, a sp-, a huge spider in the middle of the room!
Chris: It's only Buffy. (the cat)
M: [jumps out of bed] No, it definitely wasn't Buffy! It was a huge spider! [runs to the door]
C: ....
M: [comes back and stands next to bed, inspecting sheets]
C: Come back to bed, it was only a dream.

I do vaguely remember this happening and I was terrified at the time.

Pan

2007-10-31T15:40:00.001-04:00

Chris: Mine has pan on it.
Me: Pan?
C: Yeah.
M: What's pan?
C: You know, like the spikes that help it catch equipment.
M: Oh. Have you caught anything?
C: No.
M: Then why do you have it?
C: It just makes things easier.

Running away

2007-10-29T18:04:00.000-04:00

Chris: [shuffles feet under covers]
Me: What are you doing?
C: Running away!
M: From what?
C: From what he was saying.
M: Who?
C: Michael. We were talking about pronunciation guides. He said "Well, I can understand why Chris was running away last night" and then he was like "Blablanunhanunaduhduhnuh".
M: What did he mean?
C: Well, that's the thing. He spouted off this word with like 9 million vowels!
M: Oh, weird..who's Michael?
C: Oh, not Michael. I mean the project leader.
M: Oh, ok.

Loudy

2007-10-21T15:33:00.000-04:00

Chris: Loudy.
Me: What's loudy?
C: The state of being loud.
M: Ok, so what is loud?
C: The art.
M: What art?
C: Counting lamardy.
M: What's lamardy?
C: Come on, we've been through this.
M: Remind me?
C: Mmmmm.

I'm an awful wife :)

2007-10-20T12:41:00.000-04:00

Chris: Are you awake over there?
Me: I just got back from the bathroom. Why?
C: You've been muttering acronyms, like SDT or LDT or something. It had to do with healing.
M: No I'm not.
C: Yes you are!
M: No I'm not. You're crazy. And sleeping.
C: No! I'm fully awake on this one.
M: [rolls over to pick up the paper to write this down]
C: Don't even think about writing this down! I'm not sleeping!
M: Yes you are!
C: If you touch that paper, I'll eat it!
M: [laughing] Ok.
C: [laughing also] Seriously, as your husband, I forbid you from writing this down!
M: I have to! [goes to write]
C: You're the world's most awful wife! You're even cackling!

*I thought maybe he woke up during this one since he was laughing quite a bit near the end, but he says he doesn't remember it at all, so he must've been sleeping :)

60

2007-10-18T17:02:00.000-04:00

Chris: I just got 60. Isn't that exciting?
Me: You did?
C: Yeah.
M: What character?
C: [pats stomach]
M: What's it's name?
C: I don't remember her name. His name. Whatever.
M: But it's on your stomach?
C: Yup.
M: That's silly.
C: I'm confused.

Rabbits

2007-10-10T19:08:00.000-04:00

Chris: Rabbits!
Me: What rabbits?
C: Rabbits?
M: What about them?
C: They're the ones causing the bumps on my arms.
M: What rabbits?
C: DAH!!

My guys

2007-10-07T19:11:00.000-04:00

Chris: My guys are getting good.
Me: What guys?
C: [shakes feet] These guys.
M: Your feet? Why are they getting good?
C: They're getting cheeseable.
M: Ew! That's gross!

I'm a professional

2007-10-05T12:42:00.000-04:00

Chris: [looks at me wide-eyed, tries to poke my eye, and makes a squish sound] Don't try to stop me, I'm a professional!

Chris: [scratches back] It's too hard to reach.
Me: What is?
C: My badge.
M: What badge?
C: My badge for personal health.

My Merlin

2007-10-03T20:45:00.000-04:00

Chris: [chuckles] Uh oh. I think I lost the pigeon to the pebble.
Me: Huh? What does that mean?
C: As in, I lost my pigeon.
M: Why do you have a pigeon?
C: It's my Merlin.
M: Your Merlin? Is it a magical pigeon?
C: No.
M: Then what do you mean?
C: ....
M: Chris?
C: Hm?
M: What do you mean?
C: ....

Buffs

2007-10-02T19:33:00.000-04:00

Chris: [sits up in bed]
Me: What's the matter?
C: 2 days to set up, 2 days to tear down.
M: What are you setting up and tearing down?
C: You know, like, the thing that makes you bigger or smaller.
M: Who are you making bigger or smaller?
C: ....
M: Ok. How do you do it?
C: It's the thing...bigger or smaller...buff.
M: Oh, like in World of Warcraft?
C: Yeah.

Looking for clues!

2007-10-01T20:02:00.000-04:00

Chris: [sits up and looks at my video game]
Me: Are you ok? What are you doing?
C: Searching the picture for clues.
M: What kind of clues?
C: Any.
M: Well, what are you looking for?
C: Any clue.
M: Ok..why are you looking for clues? Is there a mystery?
C: Yes.
M: What's the mystery?
C: Any mystery.
M: So it's just a general mystery?
C: Yeah.
M: [after about a minute] Seeing anything yet?
C: No. Still looking.
M: It's ok. Lay back down.
C: Ok.

The moon

2007-09-30T13:02:00.001-04:00

Chris: Yes, the moon is outside.
Me: Why wouldn't it be?
C: Oh, I don't know.
M: Isn't it good that it's out there?
C: Not necessarily.

No footprints

2007-09-27T13:31:00.000-04:00

Chris: It's better for the environment.
Me: What is?
C: Not to leave a footprint.
M: How do we do that?
C: We're hovering.
M: How are we hovering?! Are we magic?
C: Yes.

Why do you do this to me?

2007-09-26T13:49:00.001-04:00

Chris: [laughing] That was funny!
Me: What was?
C: They were taken to another world and all of a sudden their cup of coffee was gone!
M: Who was taken?
C: The people...um...why do you do this to me?!
M: Because you're funny. And you're sleeping!
C: You're sleeping!

Cables

2007-09-24T17:31:00.000-04:00

Chris: [laughing softly] I'll try to be nice with the cables.
Me: The cables?
C: Yeah, you know, if everyone is being nice with the cables, I'll try to be unkempt.

Checking in

2007-09-18T19:45:00.000-04:00

Chris: What do we have to clean before check-in?
Me: Who is checking in?
C: Well, you know, like, if I was checking in and giving you my name.
M: This isn't a hotel. Why are you checking in?
C: Well, have you ever been to, like, a fair and if you get there early, they pay you?
M: No! Why would they pay you?
C: Because you waited so long. Are you telling me you really haven't done this?
M: Yes.
C: Then you haven't lived!
M: What fair is this?
C: The Winter Festival.
M: Where's that?
C: Massachusetts. Central Mass.
M: So what does this have to do with cleaning and checking in?
C: ...I don't know.

The gabilona?

2007-09-16T12:25:00.000-04:00

Chris: She reached down too far!
Me: Who?
C: The lady on this tv show...she reached too far on the phone.
M: What phone?
C: The one it just showed. It zoomed down on the animal.
M: What kind of animal?
C: The gabilona.
M: What's that?
C: The official animal of the cannonball.

Bad behavior

2007-09-15T16:41:00.000-04:00

Chris: That's a good woman! [slaps my leg]
Me: What?!
C: I'm just kidding. I'm not awarding that.
M: Awarding what?
C: Your bad behavior.
M: What bad behavior?
C: You're a woman.
M: That's my bad behavior?!
C: Yup!

Fruthers and monsters

2007-09-11T16:25:00.000-04:00

Chris: Don't forget the fruther.
Me: Feather?
C: Feather. Fruther.
M: What's a fruther?
C: You know, the lighter, slightly edible side of something.
M: Like what?
C: Hmmm, I'd have to think about it. I'm not sure there's a direct parallel.
M: Well, what's an example?
C: I don't know. I'd have to direct you to the website.
M: Ok, what's the website?
C: Hmmm, I think it's on our warlocks' character sheets.
M: Our warlocks have websites on their character sheets?
C: .....
M: About fruthers?
C: .....
M: Have I confused you?
C: Yeah.

Also, a very brief conversation:
Chris: [pointing at the ceiling fan] There's a large monster up there!
Me: Where?
C: Oh, my mistake. I must be imagining things...

Fritters

2007-09-10T21:28:00.000-04:00

Chris: They're all mine.
Me: What are?
C: The fritters.
M: Where are you getting fritters?
C: Mostly from over here.
M: Over there? Like that side of the bed?
C: Mmmmm...

There is no why

2007-09-09T16:04:00.000-04:00

Chris: Mmm...taters.
Me: What is taters?
C: You know. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
M: Why?
C: There is no why to taters.
M: Dreaming of taters?
C: Huh?
M: You said taters.
C: I did?
M: Yeah! Why else would we be talking about taters?
C: There is no why to taters.

The Print

2007-09-05T11:33:00.000-04:00

Chris: Here. [holds out hand like holding something]
Me: What's this?
C: A part of the print.
M: What print?
C: The painting I'm working on.
M: What painting?
C: [pats bed]
M: That's not a painting. That's the bed.
C: You're lying!
M: You're sleeping!

Beauty time?

2007-09-04T20:26:00.000-04:00

Chris: I'm looking for something with a bit more convenience.
Me: Huh?
C: I'm not talking to you.
M: Who are you talking to?
C: The game.
M: Oh. Well, what kind of convenience?
C: More on-screen beauty time.

Bad music

2007-08-30T12:35:00.000-04:00

Chris: I hate your kind of music. I want to destroy it.
Me: Why?
C: It pierces my ears.
M: What kind of music is it?
C: I don't know, but there's none left.
M: Why?
C: Because everyone else is working for Thomas.
M: Thomas?
C: Yeah. Or some other place.

Sproing

2007-08-29T12:03:00.000-04:00

Chris: [in high pitched voice] Oh no!
Me: What?
C: Sproing!
M: What??
C: Sproing!
M: What's sproing?
C: Watch! [points up at the ceiling fan]
M: Watch what?
C: The little guy on the fan! Sproing!

Flight crews

2007-08-26T11:47:00.000-04:00

Chris: It's a sofan.
Me: What's that?
C: It's in the same category as a nofan.
M: What does that mean?
C: It was given to me by one of my flight crew.
M: Flight crew??
C: Yeah. Mickey. He was one of my guys in Vietnam.
M: You don't have a flight crew.
C: Put that pad away!
M: No! I need to write this down!
C: No you don't!
M: Yes I do.
C: [getting kind of angry] Come on, Mel. I'm fully conscious on this one.
M: No you aren't.
C: Yes I am!
M: You don't have a flight crew!
C: ...huh?

Mr. Chattypants

2007-08-25T11:36:00.000-04:00

He actually talked 3 separate times last night! Here goes:

Chris: [Dung!]
Me: Huh?
C: [Dung!]
M: What's [dung!]?
C: The base.
M: The base? Of what?
C: The base of the netherwing.
M: What do you mean? Can you play it?
C: Maybe. Maybe not.

Chris: I'm getting tan.
Me: Tan?
C: Yeah, tan.
M: How?
C: Well, I'm spending enough time in the sun.
M: But you don't like being in the sun.
C: [shrugs]
M: Besides, it's dark out now.
C: You don't get any practice during the day?

Chris: He's got a nickname for us.
Me: Who does?
C: The apprentice photographer guy from the Vatican.
M: Why?
C: Because he likes us.
M: Oh, so it's not a bad nickname?
C: Oh, no. Photographers are very twisted people. They make fun of you if they like you. [rolls over] Mmm, you smell nice.

Flying

2007-08-23T19:55:00.000-04:00

Chris: There were no sidewalks in that town.
Me: What town?
C: The town we just passed.
M: How did we pass it?
C: We did a fly over.
M: In a plane?
C: No, we flew.
M: The two of us?
C: Yeah. Well, one per carpet.
M: Carpet? Like a magic carpet?
C: Yeah, what do you think all these tokens are for?

Winning

2007-08-22T14:00:00.000-04:00

Chris: Did she just win?
Me: Who?
C: The sister.
M: Win what?
C: The elastic thing between dialing.
M: Elastic thing?
C: Well, you know, the stretchy thing.
M: Huh?
C: [pause]
M: Chris, you're funny.
C: I'm not sleeping, you know!
M: Yes, you are.