The Saddams

I'm currently in NJ visiting my family, so I didn't have my current setup of paper and/or voice recorder, so unfortunately this conversation isn't exact:

Chris: Oh man, I couldn't find the Saddams.
Me: Saddams? Like Saddam Hussein?
C: Yeah, there was a whole line of them.
M: Why would you want to find them?
C: [spews out a bunch of technical terms involving pneumatic pressures and pipes and things like that, which starts out strong and clear and slowly winds down to a mumble]
M: What? What the heck are you talking about? What does engineering have to do with Saddam Hussein?
C: ... [asleep]

Leg Bladders

Chris: This isn't going to work.
Me: What?
C: Well, I thought I could get the leg bladder, but it's too small, so I didn't get credit.
M: What's a leg bladder?
C: It's like a small leg bladder.
M: But what is it?
C: You know how there can be a bladder? It's like something hollow in the leg.
M: Like a swim bladder? In fish?
C: [looks at me] Yeah.
M: Do you know what that is?
C: Huh? I don't know....
M: It's a biology term. I don't think you've heard of it. So, what's a leg bladder?
C: [looks really confused] I don't know what that is.
M: You were just talking about it.
C: I was?
M: Are you awake now?
C: Yes. [pokes my cheek]
M: Are you a professional?
C: Yes.

A trip

Chris: This is going to be awesome!
Me: What is?
C: I'm going to help these people get from native space to where they're going.
M: What people?
C: [looks around a bit, then points at the TV] Them.
M: The people on TV?
C: Yeah.
M: How do you know them?
C: Um...I don't. [seems a bit sad about this]
M: It's ok. You want to take me instead?
C: [looks at me, completely confused] What?
M: Are you awake?
C: No.
M: Oh. Well, you said you were taking them somewhere.
C: Yeah.
M: But you don't know them, so I asked if you want to take me instead.
C: Oh. Ok.
M: So I can go?
C: Yeah. Just don't make any trouble.

Tarantulas

Chris: Woah! [points up]
Me: What?
C: I thought I just saw a perfect tarantula up there, but it's not.
M: A tarantula??
C: Yeah. It was really cool. But I think it was just playing with my eyes.
M: Was it just the ceiling fan?
C: Yeah. It's too bad.
M: Too bad??
C: Yeah. It was really cool.
M: But that's a big spider!
C: Yeah.
M: I'm afraid of spiders!
C: Yeah.
M: You don't care?
C: No.
M: [laughs and slaps Chris's shoulder] Cripper! That's mean! Why don't you care?
C: Because your fears are silly. [rolls over]

A chain of cats

Chris: [Chris shifts position in bed, the cat jumps off the bed, and Chris sits up] Uh oh.
Me: What's the matter?
C: I think I just broke the link. One of the cats broke off.
M: Cats?
C: Yeah. There was a chain of cats and one of them just broke off.
M: Buffy just jumped off the bed. It's ok.
C: [relieved and lays back down] Oh, ok.

Electric People

Chris: [laughs]
Me: What's funny?
C: They put the electric guy up before the non-electric guy.
M: Up where?
C: Just there. [points up]
M: So why is that funny?
C: Well, they put the electric ones first. They have no legs.
M: No legs?
C: Or arms.
M: Are you sure they're people?
C: That's a terrible thing to say!
M: I don't mean it in a mean way! I just mean with no arms and legs and being electric, are you sure they aren't just, like, robots or something?
C: That's awful.
M: Why?
C: ....
M: Cripper?
C: ....
M: Are you back to sleep?
C: Mmmhmm.

Megaphones and chicken

Chris: [mumble mumble] lost the equipment. It was good for megaphoning.
Me: What?
C: What what? Where'd I lose you?
M: Well, you were saying something about losing your equipment and something being good for megaphoning.
C: Mmmhmm. [sounds slightly confused]
M: What did you mean?
C:....
M: Cripper?
C: Hm?
M: What did you mean?
C: Probably chicken.
M: [laughs] Chicken?
C: [mumble]
M: I don't get it.
C: I don't understand how you could not get it.
M: Well, what did you lose?
C: I already told you.
M: Well, tell me again.
C: Chicken.
M: [laughs] No, you said something about a megaphone.
C:...
M: Cripper? Hey.
C: Hm?
M: What about the megaphone?
C: I don't remember any microphones.
M: No, not microphone. Megaphone.
C: Oh, I don't remember any of those either.
M: Ok. Tell me something else then.
C: About what?
M: I don't know, whatever you want. What kind of chicken?
C: I dunno.
M: Is it alive or are you eating it?
C: No, you're eating it.
M: Oh, ok. Not like the bald eagles though?
C: No.

I'm a pain >:)

Chris: Nedegg.
Me: What?
C: It's transporting government property.
M: Nittig?
C: [enunciating each syllable clearly for me] Ned-egg.
M: What's a nedegg?
C: Well, you know...it's your cargo. Nedegg.
M: Do I have a boat?
C: Ehm, no.
M: I have a plane?
C: No.
M: Where is my cargo?
C: Somewhere in the nedegg.
M: What is a nedegg though?
C: I dunno.
M: Well, describe it for me.
C:....
M: Cripper?
C: Hmm?
M: Describe it for me.
C:....
M: Hey! Describe it for me!
C: [grunt]
M: What's a nedegg?
C:....
M: No, don't go back to sleep yet! Wait! Hey! [pokes Chris]
C:...
M: Hey!! [getting louder, trying to wake him]
C:....
M: Cripper? [pokes Chris again]
C: Ow.
M: [laughing] What's a nedegg?
C:....
M: Cripper! Come on, this is for the website! [still poking]
C: Ow.
M: What's a nedegg? [shoves a little]
C: [grunt]
M: [laughs] What is it?
C: Nooo.
M: [laughs] No what?
C: Oww.
M: What is a nedegg??
C: [slightly exasperated] I don't know!
M: Tell me!
C: What do you need to know?
M: Are you awake now?
C: Probably!
M: Aw, you're a party pooper.

Teehee, I was a bit of a pain. What can I say? I'm desperate for material! He's been too quiet lately!

Shooting

Chris: [mumbles something about ammo]
Me: Why do you need ammo?
C: For the competition.
M: You're in a competition?
C: We both are.
M: I'm shooting a gun??
C: Yeah.
M: Can I use a bow and arrow instead?
C: Are you good at it?
M: Sure. (I've shot an arrow like twice in my life, during a gym class in middle school, I'm sure I'm far from good.)
C: Ok then.
M: I don't have to shoot an animal do I?
C: Not right now.
M: [gasp] I don't want to shoot any animals!!
C: Sissy.
M: No! Animals are nice!
C: [mumble mumble...no longer intelligible]

Wedding plans?

Chris: [mumble] something streamlined [mumble] shoulder.
Me: What?
C: Well, you have the three things that hurt my shoulder.
M: Three things?
C: Yeah, you just unloaded them.
M: What are they?
C: Well the first was a wedding plan.
M: Ok.
C: And the second was....a wedding plan.
M: You already said that one.
C: Hmm...[said in almost an accusatory tone, as if the wedding plan is the only thing somehow hurting his shoulder. Also, we're already married.]
M: Ok, so what's the third?
C: [asleep]

Pinky and the Brain?

Chris: [thumbs up at me] Good job in there.
Me: Doing what?
C: Collecting the samples in the lab.
M: Why was I in the lab with you?
C: I only have two hands.
M: But I don't work there.
C: It doesn't matter. It's no-brainer work.
M: Are you calling me stupid?
C: No.
M: Oh, ok. So they just let anyone in there?
C: Yeah.
M: Well, I'm glad we did good. What are we doing tomorrow?
C: Same thing we do every day, Mernitner.
M: [I think I know where this is going, giggling] And what is that?
C: Try to take over the world.

I blueted (and I'm apparently pretty talented!)

Chris: [mumble mumble] blue.
Me: What?
C: You blueted.
M: I blueted? What does that mean?
C: You used your special blue ability and melted into a big blue mess on the floor.
M: I melted?? Why would I do that?
C: For comedy of course. For the band.
M: The band? We have a band?
C: Well, it's just a group of people who get together from time to time. That's how bands get started, yo.
M: [laughs] Oh, ok. What instrument do you play?
C: Drums.
M: And what do I play?
C: Drums.
M: We both play drums?
C: Well, every time I go over there, you're there.
M: I'm stealing it?
C: Yeah.
M: I don't play bass? (I play bass and he plays drums in Rock Band. That's what I figured he was talking about here)
C: Yeah.
M: I play both?
C: Yeah.
(heh, I can play multiple instruments at once!)

Pinot Grigio

Chris: It doesn't sound like the right kind.
Me: Right kind of what?
C: Pinot something something something.
M: Pinot grigio?
C: Something like that. [under breath]: Boozehound.
M: Hey! Did you just call me boozehound?? I am not!
C: Whatever. [pretends to snore]
M: Are you pretending to snore?
C: Yes. [pretends to snore again]
M: [laughs]
C: Just keep it around for the getaway.
M: What? Are you planning a heist?
C: No. It's just courteous.
M: To provide a getaway?
C: Yes. For the lab people.
M: Why do they need it?
C: To get away from the mess.
M: Well, that's not very courteous. To just leave a mess?
C: Only the first time.
M: Who will clean it up?
C: Just think of how much less will be left behind.
M: Um, ok.

Kitcher cable

Chris: [laughs] That's awfully weak for a kitcher.
Me: A what?
C: Kitcher.
M: What's a kitcher?
C: [now talking in a weird southern /western movie accent] Kitcher cable. For dueling.
M:Dueling?
C: Yessir.
M: Are you from the old west?
C: Yes.
M: So what's a kitcher cable?
C: It's thin.
M: Is it a dagger?
C: Yeah.
M: Do you have to be skilled to use it?
C: Yes, very much.
M: Are you going to duel me?
C: Yessir.

The Fearsome Variety

Chris: There are some bugs of the fearsome variety over there. [points at wall]
Me: Fearsome?
C: Yeah.
M: What kind?
C: Disney [mumble, mumble]
M: Disney? Wouldn't they be cute then?
C: Only the first hundred or so.
M: Oh, the rest aren't?
C: No.
M: How are they fearsome?
C: .... [falls asleep]

Someone needs some paper!

It has happened again! A few nights ago, I was the one talking in my sleep! Unfortunately, Chris didn't write down what I said and so only remembers a gist of what it was about. Apparently, when his alarm went off, I sat up, looked at him, and started frantically asking if what was going on was going to stop (I appeared not to realize it was his alarm clock going off). I don't remember doing this at all.

I do know that I've woken up a few times in the past few weeks thinking there's a spider nearby, feeling quite certain of it and really freaked out, but I've usually been able to figure out it was a dream or something. I really need to get over this spider thing...

Tickle Books

Chris: Why is it telling him to smile?
Me: What?
C: The book.
M: What book?
C: The one on the commercial.
M: How does it make him smile?
C: It says "tickle me" or something.
M: And who is the book making smile?
C: Malfoy.

*Chris has never read any of the Harry Potter books. I'm a huge fan, and do try to persuade him to read the books by leaving them on his nightstand - maybe that's where he got this. :)

Fuzzy Arms and Dope

Chris: [rolls over] Argh! [flops arm]
Me: Arm asleep?
C: Yeah. Finally. [flings arm toward head and pokes eye] Ow.
M: Finally? Did you want it to fall asleep?
C: Yeah, I've been waiting.
M: Why??
C: Because then it's someone else's arm putting the ammonia into the dope.
M: Dope?? Like drugs?!
C: No. The polymer dope. In the jar here. [points at nothing]
M: Oh, at work?
C: Yeah.
M: Why would you want your arm asleep for that?
C: Uh...
M: Wouldn't that be dangerous?
C: Um...yeah.

Picture Update!

So, a while back, Chris and I had a conversation about bald eagles. This past weekend, we took a trip to Myrtle Beach and I captured some evidence of Chris's craziness:
It seems he prefers endangered species to the steakhouse right behind him. Tsk tsk.

Big Scary World

Chris: You don't have to make it as big as it is.
Me: As what?
C: It.
M: What is "it"?
C: Everything.
M: The world?
C: Yeah.
M: You don't like that the world is big?
C: No.
M: Why not?
C: It [mumble mumble mumble]...

A Sandwich

Chris: [laughs]
Me: What?
C: Do you have the meat and ham?
M: The meat and ham?
C: Yeah.
M: Like, for a sandwich?
C: Yeah.
M: Oh, yeah. I have it. Is that what you want for dinner?
C: No.
M: For lunch?
C: No.
M: For what?
C: You know, for today.
M: Oh, ok. You're taking it to work?
C: Yeah.
M: Do you want a drink or anything?
C: No, it's not important.
M: Ok. What kind of bread?
C: ...
M: Chris? What kind of bread?
C: Huh?
M: For your sandwich.
C: Huh?
M: You don't remember?
C: No...

Mario Kart

Chris: Look at these people! They're just like us.
Me: Who?
C: These people here.
M: How are they like us?
C: It's neck and neck.
M: Are we playing Mario Kart? (We had played Mario Kart on DS all weekend while visiting grandparents)
C: Yeah.
M: Oh, ok. Who's winning?
C: It's a tie game.
M: What character are you playing?
C: Uh...I don't remember.

Acer

Chris: Oh man.
Me: What?
C: It was so much easier with Acer.
M: Acer? What?
C: It was so much easier with [mumble]...
M: What?
C: [snores]

Snow and crabs

Chris: Snow.
Me: Snow?
C: Yep. Snow.
M: Where?
C: Right there. [points at pillow]
M: There's snow inside?
C: Yeah.
M: How'd it get there?
C: It was wet.
M: Do you mean drool?
C: Yeah. Well, it was at one point.
M: But it's snow now?
C: Yeah.
M: That's pretty special drool you have.
C: I know.
M: What else can it do?
C: Well, it's good [mumble] frustrating stuff.
M: What frustrating stuff?
C: You know, the crabs and [mumble].
M: There's crabs in you drool?? It's an ocean now?
C: No. You're putting words in my mouth.
M: Ok then, you tell me.
C: Wait.
M: For what?
C: [is asleep]

Falling under a spell

Chris: [smiles]
Me: Why are you smiling?
C: I'm not smiling, I'm just shifting position.
M: Oh, ok.
C: You're the only one who hasn't fallen under the spell.
M: Whose spell?
C: Adams.
M: Who's Adams?
C: The arrangement of molecules.

Limited Access

Chris: No guns [mumble mumble] limited access.
Me: Why no guns?
C: Because of the made (or maid maybe..) I made back then.
M: What do you mean?
C: You'll see.

My face

Chris: Is my face the only part of the movie that doesn't move?
M: Your face?
C: Yeah.
M: What movie?
C: The movie that DFA comes with.

He finally speaks again!

Ok, so Chris has been really quiet lately while sleeping. I'm not sure why. But now, he finally talked again!! And what a lovely conversation we had...

Chris: Hm..I wonder.
Me: Huh?
C: If a million people took a million chow...ok?
M: Uh huh...
C: And a billion people took a billion chow...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: Do you see where we're going?
M: No, not really..
C: Well, we're doing...[sees recorder] What...what's that?
M: [holding back a laugh] It's nothing! Continue with your thought.
C: No!
M: [laughs] Why?
C: Because.
M: Because what?
C: [rolling away from me to his side] I'm not asleep.
M: [laughs] Yes you are.
C: No.
M: Well, ok, if you're not asleep, I'll put this away over here. [pretends to put recorder away] So, what were you talking about? What is chow?
C: I'll be over here.
M: [laughing] Don't be upset. What is chow?
C: Food.
M: Ok, so what do you mean?
C: What do you mean what do I mean?
M: Where were you going with it? You asked "Don't you see where we're going?"
C: Uh...
M: A billion people eat a billion chow?
C: Yep.
M: So what?
C: So I think Mernitner's evil. (I'm Mernitner - it's a silly name he calls me)
M: [laughs] I'm not evil!
C: Yes you are.
M: Why?
C: Because.
M: Because what?
C: You are.
M: I am?
C: Evil.
M: But why? I love you!
C: ....[is either ignoring me or is asleep]
M: Ok, nighty night Cripper. (my silly name for him)
C: Night.

Mooses and bears

Chris: Is that one of them?
Me: Huh?
C: [mumble mumble]
M: What? [laughs]
C: [sounding slightly annoyed] What don't you get?
M: Well, what did you say?
C: [talking very slowly and clearly like I'm stupid] I'm looking for a fresh little moose case.
M: Like a bag?
C: No! Like...like you have today...right?
M: Mmmhmm.
C: And you've got the moose...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: And then you've got..the guy...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: Ok, and then you've got whatever it is that's terribly offensive...
M: Mmmhmm...
C: Ok, it's just those three ingredients.
M: So, it's like a trial or something?
C: Trial? [sounding really confused]
M: Like a murder case?
C: Yeah.
M: So why did you say is that one of them?
C: Because it is for the...for the uh...for the bear.
M: What bear?
C: He's holding up midnight and, um..whatever the combination is.
M: Are you talking about Attumen? (from World of Warcraft)
C: No..
M: You saw a bear in the room?
C: I don't know why I ended up with a boss weapon.
M: What boss weapon?
C: Well, I'm holding...
M: Did you get the mace?
C: No, no. There is no mace.

Getting rid of everything

Well, Chris has been sick for the past week, but he's finally starting to feel better - and back to talking in his sleep!

Chris: We're going to get rid of all of the stuff that isn't being used over there.
Me: Huh?
C: You know, all of the stuff upstairs. Are you paying attention?
M: What are we getting rid of?
C: [looks at the tape recorder and glares at me]
M: [laughs] What? Why are you glaring at me?
C: [glares]
M: You said we were getting rid of everything upstairs that nobody used.
C: [still glaring, playfully]
M: What? [laughs] You're talking, so I have to record it! You said I wasn't paying attention. This will help me pay attention.
C: No it won't.
M: [laughs] Yes it will.
C: It'll help you work against me!
M: Well, what were you talking about?
C: Nevermind!
M: [laughs] Come on!
C: [smiling] I don't wanna talk about it.
M: Are you actually awake now?
C: I think so...
M: I can't tell if you are or not...Ok, well, I'll let you go back to sleep. Maybe when you wake up a little later, you can tell me why we're getting rid of everything in the upstairs.
C: Hmmmm...

Square roots and the base

Chris: Square root.
Me: What?
C: Two.
M: The square root of two?
C: Yeah. You're good to go.
M: What do you mean?
C: They'll let you in.
M: Hm?
C: The base will let you in.
M: What base?
C: You know, the caretakers.
M: Caretakers of what?
C: The base.
M: [laughs] Yeah, but what base?
C: What do you mean what base?
M: Is it like a military base?
C: Yeah...
M: We're in the military now?
C: ....
M: Chris? Helloo?
(He fell asleep, I never got to learn if we're in the military...)

Sleepy is going to Ironforge.

Chris: I clicked the portal.
M: Huh? What portal?
C: Ironforge.
M: When did you click that?
C: Just now.
M: But you're in bed.
C: Hm.
M: How did you click a portal to Ironforge?
C: ....
M: Chris?
C: Hmmm?
M: How did you click a portal to Ironforge in bed?
C: I dunno.
M: But you said you did.
C: Hm..I'm special.
M: Oh. What do you need in Ironforge?
C: Um...
M: Chris?
C: Hm?
M: What do you need in Ironforge?
C: Um...
M: You don't know?
C: No.
M: Well this isn't a very fun conversation.
C: Mmmmm...

The moon again

Chris: Burned.
Me: Huh?
C: Burned. It's awfully close. [points up]
M: What's burned? Up on the ceiling?
C: Yeah.
M: What's burning?
C: The moon.
M: The moon!? [laughs] Why is the moon on fire?
C: Cause of how close it is.
M: The earth set it on fire or the sun set it on fire?
C: Uh.... [zones off]
M: Hey! What set it on fire?
C: Hm?
M: What set the moon on fire?
C: What mood?
M: [laughs] The moon.
C: Uh.... (I think he's forgetten what we're talking about now)
M: Did we do it?
C: I don't know.
M: Oh, ok.

Louis Armstrong

(Who's Line is it Anyway is on in the background with Wayne Brady pretending to be Louis Armstrong. This conversation makes him look awake, but he wasn't.)

Chris: [laughs]
Me: What?
C: This is a good one.
M: Oh, ok.
C: Have you really not seen this?
M: Not this one.
C: It's a good one. You'll like it.
M: I don't really like Louis Armstrong though.
C: This relationship is over.
M: [laughs]
C: [starts smiling and tapping chest in rhythm of song]

Mice and Ink

Chris: Uh oh.
Me: What?
C: I forget, what it was, but someone didn't pay attention to the, uh, to the...to the guy who was inking.
M: Mmmhmm...
C: ...and the person who was getting inked, like, wasn't narrating properly, so [laughs] when, uh, when he was talking, the little mice he was generating were just running amok. They weren't actually concentrated anywhere.
M: Mmmhmm...
C: It's uh, all over the place. Just, uh, it's the way it seemed.
M: Why were there mice there?
C: It's from the tattoo.
M: Mice come out of tattoos?
C: No, not always.
M: Only sometimes?
C: These specifically.
M: Oh. Is everything ok now?
C: Well, they made quite a mess.
M: Who cleaned it up?
C: No one yet.
M: Oh.
C: It's gonna take a while.

Puh

Chris: 29
Me: What do you mean?
C: I mean like, this, uh, this package, like, this starting character has grown in size.
M: What starting character?
C: You know, the character on the screen.
M: Oh. What do you mean 29? Is that like a size?
C: Well...[puh]
M: Hm?
C: [puh]
M: [laughs] What does that mean?
C: I'm torn between mods right now.

Pappy

Chris: [in southern hick accent] Bear...
Me: Huh?
C: This guy right here's the one who's killed Pappy. [points to stomach]
M: Pappy?
C: Yup.
M: So what are you going to do?
C: It's time for payback.