Turtles and special effects

Chris: You'll notice you never see the turtle in both scenes.
Me: What?
C: [points at TV] Well, you see, the turtle isn't in the two scenes. There's no super special effects. Effects. [gestures with hands]
M: The turtle?
C: In the scene. There are no special special effects. [turns head to the side and fake-snores, complete with whistle]
M: [laughs] You don't snore like that!
C: [smiles and keeps fake-snoring a few times]

Missiles

Chris: [points at bedroom door] What is that?? [said in very serious tone]
Me: Where?
C: There! In the corner!
M: The air vent?
C: Oh.
M: What did you think it was?
C: An array of missiles.
M: Pointed at us??
C: Yes.
M: Why?
C: I don't know.
M: Who was pointing them at us?
C: I don't know. I didn't get a good look.

The Saddams

I'm currently in NJ visiting my family, so I didn't have my current setup of paper and/or voice recorder, so unfortunately this conversation isn't exact:

Chris: Oh man, I couldn't find the Saddams.
Me: Saddams? Like Saddam Hussein?
C: Yeah, there was a whole line of them.
M: Why would you want to find them?
C: [spews out a bunch of technical terms involving pneumatic pressures and pipes and things like that, which starts out strong and clear and slowly winds down to a mumble]
M: What? What the heck are you talking about? What does engineering have to do with Saddam Hussein?
C: ... [asleep]

Leg Bladders

Chris: This isn't going to work.
Me: What?
C: Well, I thought I could get the leg bladder, but it's too small, so I didn't get credit.
M: What's a leg bladder?
C: It's like a small leg bladder.
M: But what is it?
C: You know how there can be a bladder? It's like something hollow in the leg.
M: Like a swim bladder? In fish?
C: [looks at me] Yeah.
M: Do you know what that is?
C: Huh? I don't know....
M: It's a biology term. I don't think you've heard of it. So, what's a leg bladder?
C: [looks really confused] I don't know what that is.
M: You were just talking about it.
C: I was?
M: Are you awake now?
C: Yes. [pokes my cheek]
M: Are you a professional?
C: Yes.

A trip

Chris: This is going to be awesome!
Me: What is?
C: I'm going to help these people get from native space to where they're going.
M: What people?
C: [looks around a bit, then points at the TV] Them.
M: The people on TV?
C: Yeah.
M: How do you know them?
C: Um...I don't. [seems a bit sad about this]
M: It's ok. You want to take me instead?
C: [looks at me, completely confused] What?
M: Are you awake?
C: No.
M: Oh. Well, you said you were taking them somewhere.
C: Yeah.
M: But you don't know them, so I asked if you want to take me instead.
C: Oh. Ok.
M: So I can go?
C: Yeah. Just don't make any trouble.

Tarantulas

Chris: Woah! [points up]
Me: What?
C: I thought I just saw a perfect tarantula up there, but it's not.
M: A tarantula??
C: Yeah. It was really cool. But I think it was just playing with my eyes.
M: Was it just the ceiling fan?
C: Yeah. It's too bad.
M: Too bad??
C: Yeah. It was really cool.
M: But that's a big spider!
C: Yeah.
M: I'm afraid of spiders!
C: Yeah.
M: You don't care?
C: No.
M: [laughs and slaps Chris's shoulder] Cripper! That's mean! Why don't you care?
C: Because your fears are silly. [rolls over]

A chain of cats

Chris: [Chris shifts position in bed, the cat jumps off the bed, and Chris sits up] Uh oh.
Me: What's the matter?
C: I think I just broke the link. One of the cats broke off.
M: Cats?
C: Yeah. There was a chain of cats and one of them just broke off.
M: Buffy just jumped off the bed. It's ok.
C: [relieved and lays back down] Oh, ok.