Thursday, August 30, 2007

Bad music

Chris: I hate your kind of music. I want to destroy it.
Me: Why?
C: It pierces my ears.
M: What kind of music is it?
C: I don't know, but there's none left.
M: Why?
C: Because everyone else is working for Thomas.
M: Thomas?
C: Yeah. Or some other place.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Chris: [in high pitched voice] Oh no!
Me: What?
C: Sproing!
M: What??
C: Sproing!
M: What's sproing?
C: Watch! [points up at the ceiling fan]
M: Watch what?
C: The little guy on the fan! Sproing!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Flight crews

Chris: It's a sofan.
Me: What's that?
C: It's in the same category as a nofan.
M: What does that mean?
C: It was given to me by one of my flight crew.
M: Flight crew??
C: Yeah. Mickey. He was one of my guys in Vietnam.
M: You don't have a flight crew.
C: Put that pad away!
M: No! I need to write this down!
C: No you don't!
M: Yes I do.
C: [getting kind of angry] Come on, Mel. I'm fully conscious on this one.
M: No you aren't.
C: Yes I am!
M: You don't have a flight crew!
C: ...huh?

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Mr. Chattypants

He actually talked 3 separate times last night! Here goes:

Chris: [Dung!]
Me: Huh?
C: [Dung!]
M: What's [dung!]?
C: The base.
M: The base? Of what?
C: The base of the netherwing.
M: What do you mean? Can you play it?
C: Maybe. Maybe not.

Chris: I'm getting tan.
Me: Tan?
C: Yeah, tan.
M: How?
C: Well, I'm spending enough time in the sun.
M: But you don't like being in the sun.
C: [shrugs]
M: Besides, it's dark out now.
C: You don't get any practice during the day?

Chris: He's got a nickname for us.
Me: Who does?
C: The apprentice photographer guy from the Vatican.
M: Why?
C: Because he likes us.
M: Oh, so it's not a bad nickname?
C: Oh, no. Photographers are very twisted people. They make fun of you if they like you. [rolls over] Mmm, you smell nice.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Chris: There were no sidewalks in that town.
Me: What town?
C: The town we just passed.
M: How did we pass it?
C: We did a fly over.
M: In a plane?
C: No, we flew.
M: The two of us?
C: Yeah. Well, one per carpet.
M: Carpet? Like a magic carpet?
C: Yeah, what do you think all these tokens are for?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


Chris: Did she just win?
Me: Who?
C: The sister.
M: Win what?
C: The elastic thing between dialing.
M: Elastic thing?
C: Well, you know, the stretchy thing.
M: Huh?
C: [pause]
M: Chris, you're funny.
C: I'm not sleeping, you know!
M: Yes, you are.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Bald Eagles

Chris: It's a pity to return such valuable merchandise. It's a beautiful animal.
Me: What animal?
C: American bald eagle. It's beautiful.
M: Yeah, why would you return it?
C: I don't know. [pause] I wonder what it tastes like.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The shipments!

Chris: [points at tv] Where are the shipments?
Me: What shipments?
C: They're supposed to be arriving today.
M: From the tv?
C: Yes.
M: I don't think the tv can make shipments.
C: [looks at me in disbelief] That's why I stayed up!
M: But you aren't up! You're sleeping. It's ok. Go back to sleep.
C: I'm not sleeping!!
M: [laughing] Yes, you are. It's ok. Go to sleep.
C: You're mean!
M: [laughs and pats his face]