Cousen people

Chris: [mumble mumble] download cusen person.
Me: Download what?
C: Mass cusen person.
M: What's that?
C: It's uh, see, multiple cusen persons.
M: What's a cusen person?
C: You know, like a cuse.
M: A what?
C: A cuse.
M: What's a cuse?
C: ...
M: Like couscous?
C: Yeah.
M: So, you eat these people?
C: Yeah.
M: Why would you do that? Do they taste good?
C: No.
M: Oh, well, I guess we shouldn't eat them then.
C: No.
M: So, who are they?
C: They're from uh...
M: From where?
C: [uncertain mumble, not really with me anymore]
M: You don't know?
C: No...
M: Ok, then. Anything else you'd like to tell me?
C: [silent]

Wife Contract

I strung this one on pretty far!

Chris: You have to contact up.
Me: Contact who?
C: Contact up. They need to know you're here.
M: What do they need to know? I live here!
C: That's true. It's not like a contract or anything.
M: I should hope not. Are you contracting me out to be your wife?
C: Hmm..I think that can be arranged.
M: [laughs] Who would I be reporting to?
C: Who do you want to report to?
M: I don't know. You're the one telling me I have to contact up.
C: That's true. Why don't you report to Behfeh (like last time, Behfeh is the cat)
M: [laughs] Ok...
C: And I guess Behfeh has a dotted line to the CEO of Whirlpool.
M: [laughs] Ok.
C: And then, uh...I don't know. I'll have to ask Behfeh where the rest of the organization is.
M: Ok. Is there anything else I need to do?
C: You mean as far as reporting is concerned?
M: Yeah.
C: No, I think that should cover all our bases.
M: Ok. Do I have to draw up a report?
C: [starting to sound very sleepy] Could you do that?
M: Ok, how long would you like it to be?
C: Nothing too fancy, just a page or two should do.
M: And what should it say?
C: Oh, just make it the standard report.
M: I don't know what the standard is. I'm new.
C: Oh. Um, I'll forward you an example.
M: [laughs] Ok. So, who wrote this example? Like, was it you or someone else?
C: I wrote it.
M: Oh, so I didn't have a predecessor?
C: No.
M: That's good to know. Well, alright. I'll get to work on that.
C: What?
M: I'll get to work on it.
C: Oh.

He speaks!!

So it appears reading has helped a bit! The first few nights of reading didn't seem to be doing much for his night talking, but then one night he bit me a few times (lightly!...though that's still pretty weird. Ooh, or! Maybe I have my very own Edward!) and the next night, he talked:

Chris: [sits up, points fingers like a gun at nothing] Hey, Behfeh. [looks down at cat] (Behfeh is how he sometimes pronounces our cat Buffy's name)
M: What are you doing?
C: I wonder if there's a capacitance charge or not.
M: What? Capacitance?
C: If there's a charge.
M: Charge in what though? Is that a gun?
C: Well, we'll have to see. If there's no charge, no.
M: Who are you aiming at?
C: ...
M: Cripper?
C: [looks around, looks at me, then flops back down and covers head with sheet] Don't wake me!
M: But were you going to shoot Buffy?
C: No, I'd never do that to Beefy.