Someone's playing too much Fallout

Chris: [claps hand on my arm] Welcome back!
Me: From where?
C: Uh, let's see. It was from one genre to another.
M: Genre?
C: Yeah, first you were deadly beauty and now you're...I can't remember the word.
M: I'm a deadly beauty?
C: Well, of course!
M: [laughs] Ok.
C: I just have to finish this scenario.
M: What scenario?
C: In Anchorage.
M: Ohhh, is this Fallout?
C: Yeah.
M: Are you trying to kill me?
C: No.
M: I'm on your team?
C: Yeah.
M: Am I helpful?
C: Yeah.
M: Well, that's good.

Not unique

Chris: Who has the power to decide who's playing?
Me: You do.
C: How?
M: Just push the button.
C: Which one?
M: The red one.
C: But there are many buttons.
M: Just push the red one.
C: There must be millions of people playing. How do I have the power to choose?
M: You're the only one playing now.
C: There's 13 million people playing. Statistically I'm not unique.
M: Sure you are.
C: If I were to pick my nose right now and do a survey, I would not be unique.
M: What if you picked your nose and screamed "I like to eat eagles!"
C: Are you accusing me of being asleep?
M: [laughs] Yes.
C: I'm totally conscious on this one. (Where have I heard that before?)
M: [laughs]

NFL logos

Chris: [disapprovingly] Hmm...I don't know about that.
Me: About what?
C: They're changing the hood ornament...I mean logo of the NFL.
M: To what?
C: Well, anything other than what it is now would be foolish.
M: So why are they changing it?
C: Eh, it's what the youngins tend to do.
M: Are you changing it?
C: Noo!
M: Who is?
C: Some newbie.
M: Oh, well, you better stop him.
C: Ok.

Belly Spots

Chris: [pats belly like a drum]
Me: Whatcha doin?
C: Half a spot on my belly.
M: A spot?
C: No, half a spot.
M: Why only half?
C: The other half...connected...my back.
M: So, it goes through you?
C: No.
M: How'd it get there?
C: I dunno.
M: Do you have a guess?
C: No.
M: Is it dangerous?
C: Oh yes. Very.
M: What does it do?
C: It erases...the untanglers.
M: Untanglers?
C: Yeah, the news and the shows.
M: Your spot does that?
C: What spot?
M: The one you told me about a minute ago. Oh, sorry. Half a spot.
C: Huh?
M: Are you confused?
C: No?
M: You sound confused.
C: Yes?

Inhale-o-heezy

Chris: Not quite yet.
Me: Huh?
C: I have to wait to pop my inhale-o-heezy.
M: [laughs] Inhale-o-heezy?
C: Yup.
M: What's that?
C: Let me show you!
M: [waits]...well?
C: Hm?
M: Is it your inhaler?
C: Yeah.

By the way, happy birthday to my wonderful, sleep-challenged husband!! I love you! :}

Inappropriate comments from imaginary people

Chris: He's almost there. [points at TV]
Me: Almost where?
C: Out of breath.
M: From what?
C: I don't know. We just wait for him when he's out of breath and then we all keep going.
M: Are you in a race?
C: No.
M: What is he doing?
C: I'll ask him.
M: Ok. Go ahead.
C: [waits a few seconds] Ok, I asked him. He said "blub blub blub blub." Exactly like that.
M: [laughs] Can you translate?
C: Yeah. He said he really likes your boobs. [puckers lips for kiss]
M: [kisses him and laughs] That's inappropriate for him to say. I can't post this!
C: Eh. [dances]
M: [laughs] Are you dancing again?
C: Mmm-hmm.
M: To what?
C: I don't know.
M: You're so weird.

Accents

Chris: [chuckles]
Me: What?
C: [in British accent] I don't know.
M: Are you British?
C: [still in accent] I don't know.
M: You're talking in a British accent.
C: [still in accent] I could be British or I could be Indian.
M: Indian? You don't have that accent.
C: [in bad Indian accent] I could be Indian. Everyone loves them in phase 5.
M: Phase 5 of what?
C: [back to the British accent] Take over. [starts dancing]
M: [laughs] Are you dancing?
C: [still in British accent] I don't know.