Inappropriate comments from imaginary people

Chris: He's almost there. [points at TV]
Me: Almost where?
C: Out of breath.
M: From what?
C: I don't know. We just wait for him when he's out of breath and then we all keep going.
M: Are you in a race?
C: No.
M: What is he doing?
C: I'll ask him.
M: Ok. Go ahead.
C: [waits a few seconds] Ok, I asked him. He said "blub blub blub blub." Exactly like that.
M: [laughs] Can you translate?
C: Yeah. He said he really likes your boobs. [puckers lips for kiss]
M: [kisses him and laughs] That's inappropriate for him to say. I can't post this!
C: Eh. [dances]
M: [laughs] Are you dancing again?
C: Mmm-hmm.
M: To what?
C: I don't know.
M: You're so weird.

Accents

Chris: [chuckles]
Me: What?
C: [in British accent] I don't know.
M: Are you British?
C: [still in accent] I don't know.
M: You're talking in a British accent.
C: [still in accent] I could be British or I could be Indian.
M: Indian? You don't have that accent.
C: [in bad Indian accent] I could be Indian. Everyone loves them in phase 5.
M: Phase 5 of what?
C: [back to the British accent] Take over. [starts dancing]
M: [laughs] Are you dancing?
C: [still in British accent] I don't know.

Advice and Mickey balloons

Chris: That's some pretty good advice there.
Me: What advice?
C: On delivering the sandwich.
M: What kind of sandwich is it?
C: I don't know. I'm just making it up as I go along. [makes Price is Right losing sound]
M: [laughs] Oh, ok.
C: Mouse ears.
M: Huh?
C: On that balloon over there.
M: Where?
C: The kid in my head has a Mickey balloon.
M: Oh, so I can't see it?
C: No.
M: Why can only you see it?
C: I'm fun.
M: I'm boring?
C: No.
M: Oh, ok.