Absorbable toast?

It's funny how talking about Chris not talking in his sleep seems to actually prompt him to talk again. We were at our friends' house this weekend and they mentioned that it seems that Chris has been quiet lately, based on not seeing anything new on the blog. Lo and behold, that night, he spoke again:

Chris: The previous method of delivery was the toaster.
Me: What's being delivered?
C: The toaster distributes it.
M: Right, but what is it distributing?
C: It gets absorbed into your skin. It's like... [thinks] not really like a medicine... [thinks some more]...
M: Like food?
C: No.
M: Do you drink it?
C: No.
M: So what is it?
C: It's absorbed into the skin.
M: What is?
C: [thinks] I don't know what it is. It's absorbed.
M: Is this a conspiracy?
C: Yeah, sure.
M: [laughs] Ok.
[a few minutes pass]
M: [not expecting an answer since, typically, Chris completely leaves his train of thought/falls into a deeper sleep once we stop talking] So, what was the old method?
C: Uh, well, it's absorbed. What do you mean?
M: Well, you said the toaster is the new method. What's the old one?
C: Um...what?
M: Where did it originally come from?
C: Originally? I guess the guy.
M: What guy? God?
C: No. [said like I suggested something silly]
M: Then who?
C: [suddenly very confused] Huh? I don't know...
M: Ok, go back to sleep. [pats Chris]

Turtles and special effects

Chris: You'll notice you never see the turtle in both scenes.
Me: What?
C: [points at TV] Well, you see, the turtle isn't in the two scenes. There's no super special effects. Effects. [gestures with hands]
M: The turtle?
C: In the scene. There are no special special effects. [turns head to the side and fake-snores, complete with whistle]
M: [laughs] You don't snore like that!
C: [smiles and keeps fake-snoring a few times]

Missiles

Chris: [points at bedroom door] What is that?? [said in very serious tone]
Me: Where?
C: There! In the corner!
M: The air vent?
C: Oh.
M: What did you think it was?
C: An array of missiles.
M: Pointed at us??
C: Yes.
M: Why?
C: I don't know.
M: Who was pointing them at us?
C: I don't know. I didn't get a good look.

The Saddams

I'm currently in NJ visiting my family, so I didn't have my current setup of paper and/or voice recorder, so unfortunately this conversation isn't exact:

Chris: Oh man, I couldn't find the Saddams.
Me: Saddams? Like Saddam Hussein?
C: Yeah, there was a whole line of them.
M: Why would you want to find them?
C: [spews out a bunch of technical terms involving pneumatic pressures and pipes and things like that, which starts out strong and clear and slowly winds down to a mumble]
M: What? What the heck are you talking about? What does engineering have to do with Saddam Hussein?
C: ... [asleep]

Leg Bladders

Chris: This isn't going to work.
Me: What?
C: Well, I thought I could get the leg bladder, but it's too small, so I didn't get credit.
M: What's a leg bladder?
C: It's like a small leg bladder.
M: But what is it?
C: You know how there can be a bladder? It's like something hollow in the leg.
M: Like a swim bladder? In fish?
C: [looks at me] Yeah.
M: Do you know what that is?
C: Huh? I don't know....
M: It's a biology term. I don't think you've heard of it. So, what's a leg bladder?
C: [looks really confused] I don't know what that is.
M: You were just talking about it.
C: I was?
M: Are you awake now?
C: Yes. [pokes my cheek]
M: Are you a professional?
C: Yes.

A trip

Chris: This is going to be awesome!
Me: What is?
C: I'm going to help these people get from native space to where they're going.
M: What people?
C: [looks around a bit, then points at the TV] Them.
M: The people on TV?
C: Yeah.
M: How do you know them?
C: Um...I don't. [seems a bit sad about this]
M: It's ok. You want to take me instead?
C: [looks at me, completely confused] What?
M: Are you awake?
C: No.
M: Oh. Well, you said you were taking them somewhere.
C: Yeah.
M: But you don't know them, so I asked if you want to take me instead.
C: Oh. Ok.
M: So I can go?
C: Yeah. Just don't make any trouble.

Tarantulas

Chris: Woah! [points up]
Me: What?
C: I thought I just saw a perfect tarantula up there, but it's not.
M: A tarantula??
C: Yeah. It was really cool. But I think it was just playing with my eyes.
M: Was it just the ceiling fan?
C: Yeah. It's too bad.
M: Too bad??
C: Yeah. It was really cool.
M: But that's a big spider!
C: Yeah.
M: I'm afraid of spiders!
C: Yeah.
M: You don't care?
C: No.
M: [laughs and slaps Chris's shoulder] Cripper! That's mean! Why don't you care?
C: Because your fears are silly. [rolls over]